I do not know why I wrote this but I hope it strikes a chord and stirs up some personal memories too.

Yesterday I had gone for a haircut and trust me I was thrilled when my conscious transported me back to my childhood days. There are occasions when you become nostalgic after trying a particular dish which is your mother’s specialty, that smell after it pours thinking about your childhood games, that aroma of coffee evoking thoughts of someone special you had awaited for in your life, that song which tickles you and takes you to wonderland, smell of books reminding of school libraries and so on..There are innumerable instances which trigger a wave of emotions. It is strange how sometimes this stroke of nostalgia makes us smile :)

As I sat on the chair in the parlor and that hairdresser untied my hair, I found myself childishly enthusiastic about this new look. There was hair all over my face and I was trying to peek through so that I could get a glimpse of myself in the mirror placed in front of me. It is unbelievable how on this side of the messy hair, a flood of memories were waiting to be unleashed..I felt like I was a kid again and experienced anxiety and moments flashed in front of my eyes. I was then wondering how my life revolved around those report cards, those remarks of appreciation from teachers, being the class monitor, Mom’s Tiffin, favorite cartoon shows and those evening hours of play in the building. These were things which meant the world to me. A compliment brought unadulterated joy to us as kids. Somehow I experienced intense set of childhood emotions.

Things were so resolved and beautiful when we were kids. Then we saw the world with hope, optimism and not with cynicism. It was effortless to make new friends and stay happy and content. Life was not at all complicated.

That was the time when I felt like running with the air and now I realize that it isn’t easy with the burdens, pressures and responsibilities lying on my shoulders. I feel like being carefree and enjoying the smallest things in life which I am missing on in this adulthood. In this phase of being mature, I don’t want to let go this child inside me who pops up very often on certain occasions. But then more than often, I mask it thinking this is not the time but I strongly feel that not just me but everyone needs that side of the being..

The best time of our life has passed by and now I realize it’s worth.The most cherish able times of everyone’s life..We can’t replicate those things. We can’t go back to that period. But yes, we can always learn from that stage of life. We can always revisit that atmosphere. We can still be simple and take great pleasures in small things of life. We can still trust people. There is no point fighting with the places or the things or the people. The world goes on without us, just as well, maybe better.. The choice is ours.What goes around comes around..Waiting for it..Life, here I come...

It was 12.30 am and there I lay struggling to fetch some sleep worried by the thought of getting up early in the morning burdened with the popping issues in office. Ever seen a dog getting wet and getting rid of every possible drop of water by shaking up at that very next moment; similarly shed off those “office” thoughts and started thinking about how wonderful the day had been. Despite of the numerous attempts by my sore throat and fever to deter my spirits; I had enjoyed the day to its fullest in every possible way. Had been out the whole evening on a shopping spree [Now you know the real reason behind my day being so wonderful ;)].Being done with that I stood up and unfurled the curtains and gazed at the deep dark sky lightened up with those shimmering stars..An electric impulse traversed down an exon to the synaptic terminal evoking communication between the neurons forcing me to think about the true stars of my life.The 2 important F’s of my life: Family and Friends!

Too many things popped up at that point of time. Completely puzzled with the downpour of this gamut of thoughts; my brain carefully plucked a name and I was transported in my past by this amazing thought machine as I call it. Friendship is something too hard to define for me and for all those who have ever in their life had a true friend. I have been blessed with genuine friends since childhood [Touch-wood]. I consider myself fortunate to have realized its worth from an early stage but someone came along who renovated its meaning. Yamini: I won’t call her my best friend as the word won’t do justice to what she means to me. They say some people just click from the instant they meet each other and bond for life. Well for me it was completely different because we do not have anything in common: she possessing all the traits I dislike in a person. Strange as the word can be, I neglected everything when it came to her. Our relation was meant to materialize despite all the differences.

10 years is a long time and life has been a roller coaster ride since then - Our crazy times, the absolute insane talks, the incessant laughs, emotional talks, her consistency in being inconsistent about her love life, the blame games, my dominating side, the allegations, and a lot more but above all our togetherness. Our destiny is so interlinked that no matter what we decide it forces us to meet in the same city, eventually sharing the same place and it’s been a vicious circle.

I was still gazing at the sky recollecting the sparkling moments and there was this 1000 watt smile on my face thanking God for all that He had given me. My thoughts were suddenly interrupted because of my phone. I have this habit of putting my cell on silent mode every night and I cursed myself to have forgotten it. There are two things I strongly dislike: 1st being woken up from dreams [no matter whether I am sleeping or not] and the other which had just happened. It was a friend calling and I know the reason must have been to check up on my health but I had a valid reason not to have taken the call. To my surprise I was going through a combination of euphoria and blues. Weird as it sounds I knew the reason behind it and had taken every possible effort to avoid the topic since a month but someday I had to deal with it. I didn’t want to give myself any lame reason not to ponder upon it.

There are a few people whom I can bear with 24*7 and needless to say, Yam belongs to that league. She is getting married on the 10th of December and here comes the sole reason behind me feeling gloomy. I was trying to be normal, peppy; oh I am all right types since so many days with this issue taking its toll over a part of my brain gradually. Yesterday was the first time I didn’t want to escape this fact and chose to accept it that we will have to part ways. Hell no, I am not talking about disconnecting with her but getting used to life without her presence, without her dancing all around me since the moment she enters the house, without her abusive language, without her melodrama, without her stupendously stupid problems, without her ever arising silly issues ranging from “chittu kya pehnu” to “yaar usne propose kiya” and the list goes on. You would think life would be much more fun without these things but as a matter of fact, every bit of insanity has been adding many colours to my life. Every friend in this world shares your sorrows, pain, is your life support system and all goodie things but it’s bizarre that I am going to miss a lot more than only the goodie things……

This is my first post Yam and it’s exclusively for you. I know you are always upset that I never express myself. All I want you to know is even if I never show doesn’t mean I don’t feel anything. You mean a lot to me Yam!! I think that should say it all. Here’s wishing you a great life ahead.

P.S – Thank you Canty and Jo for motivating me. It’s because of you guys that I have created an account here.